Dont Change

As someone who just wants some normality in his life I can totally relate to the lyrics in this Inxs classic tune.

Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me

Nothing is normal. Family. Friends. Work. Home. Me. Nothing is normal. Actually some friends are normal. And some are trying to be normal for me. And some are just normal normally. I'm surrounded by events that are life altering. First time doing things or going places on my own without my girl. Trying to deal with things as normally as I can. At times the process is made harder by the way some people try to help. They think they are helping. But they aren't. And I cant say anything to them - they are great family, friends or work people normally. And they too are grieving. And im conscious of that. And they are just trying to help. Id try to do the same if I was in their shoes.

But some people have changed. Some people used to be funny. Now they aren't. Some people used to give me something I needed - at times I didn't know what it was that I needed. And now they don't/cant give it to me. They are trying to be someone they aren't. And I understand. But its hard to tell them that I understand.

And my way of coping with these situations is to escape temporarily. I cant tell these people that i don't want them trying to help. Ive tried that a few times and its blown up in my face every fucking time. So I just become even more introverted and escape to what I currently classify as normal - certain people who are normal or give me some normality. And I thank them for doing that. One person in particular doesn't even know she is being normal. But every time I have ever needed her she acts normal. She doesn't say much. The odd scream. The occasional "ive discovered my vocal chords so im going to use them damn you". The occasional vomit on Uncle Enzo's prized Pearl Jam No Code 1998 tour shirt (twice at last count). Ive even been working on ways to not say fuck around her. Or just not saying fuck as much. Cause I know that one day she will say fuck. And her parents will look at me and ill be in unimaginable trouble. So now im not normal - im trying to change. But this is a good change. It has some good elements to it.

Only one person mattered in my life. Everyone else was a support act. I know that sounds kind of harsh, but its an easy way of explaining a hard story. On the flip side I feel that I too am a support act to everyone else's main act - their version of my headliner. I give something to my friends, family, etc that they want or need. And what a lot of people used to give me they now cant/don't. And they probably don't even know they aren't.

So, yeah. Dont Change.

















Artist: Inxs
Track: Dont Change
Album: Shabooh Shoobah

I'm standing here on the ground
The sky above won't fall down
See no evil in all direction
Resolution of happiness
Things have been dark
For too long

Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me

I found a love I had lost
It was gone for too long
Hear no evil in all directions
Execution of bitterness
Message received loud and clear

Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me

I'm standing here on the ground
The sky above won't fall down
See no evil in all directions
Resolution of happiness
Things have been dark for too long

Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me